1st day of spring -  Living in New England, the changing of the four seasons has always had significant meaning.  Have you ever wondered why it seems though we are always looking for the next season to come, when the one we are in has barely started? 

In the mountains of New Hampshire, the seasons are a little different.  There is Winter that doesn't really start till January and doesn't end till the end of April.  Then there is Mud season, which you would think of as Spring I suppose.  Most driveways, which up here are called door yards are not paved, and there are lots of yards that are not grassed, so when Mud season comes a calling, there isn't much that looks different between the door yard, the back yard, the back door, and my kitchen floor.  Makes me wonder if I wouldn't be better off just waiting till Mud season is over to wash my floor, other than the exercise, it doesn't look much like I did anything once the dog comes in or my husband comes in.  Same dirt, different print.

There are good things about mud season, tourists go home, and we wonder how much of their money they left behind for our economy.  We get to see our neighbors, with  smiles on their faces, anticipating the planting of this years crop.  We want to get our yards cleaned a little so we can enjoy the 4 weeks of summer we know are coming some time in July and August.  We can't wait for the warmth of the sun, and the dry ground, during the week.  The curse is it usually rains on weekends during the summer.  It is a rule that new businesses must really, really be creative to survive.  Most all must be a able to provide umbrella's and shelter at the drop of a drop. 

Then when you think all is well and we are content to soak up the rays of the sun,  the complaining starts once again.  "These black fly's are awful this year, I don't remember them being this bad last year (yeah right, they were, we just want this phase to pass quickly)." " Boy it is so hot, I can't stand it!".  We head for the house we couldn't wait to get out of all winter (because it was so cold out), hoping it is freezing because,  "It is hot as hell out there",  (we have no clue as to that detail, and I have no intention to finding that out).  Oh, look I see it coming, the color on the trees is just about to change, I can feel it,  the air is crisp and cool.  We are not looking forward to the dark days of winter, and fall has barely gotten here.  "I hate the shorter days.  I love the snow though", (Hellooo, it is only fall and the leaves are just starting to change).

The trees are so beautiful in full color.  Look at all these tourists, what can we sell the old people on those buses that will make them feel like they had an awesome trip.  "I got it how about some good old fashioned Maple Syrup?".  OK, so it was made in Vermont and we are in New Hampshire, I'm sure the bus will go through Vermont at some point and they won't remember where the exactly bought it anyway.  "I can't wait for peace and quiet.  Oh man, the leaves fell so quickly, I wish they stayed on the trees longer.  I guess I'll have to rake the yard to get ready for winter".  It is only October.  Time to put away the lawn furniture and the outdoor birdbath so it doesn't get beat up.  But it is still nice out.  November, and we are planning  Christmas, and anxious for the snow.  Thanksgiving came and went, and we are in debt up to our eye balls trying to get everything that everyone didn't want, because we think they need it or will like it.  It is good to make people happy.  " I hope we have snow for Christmas.  It just isn't Christmas without snow".  (Did Mary and Joseph have snow in the stable in Bethlehem, or was it just not Christmas for them?)  Well there is at least a dusting of snow on the ground, Merry Christmas.  January,  Oh, I don't want to open the bill for the toys I bought that are now broken, the clothes I bought that were  worn once and the style changed, not to mention the useless things that will surely get re gifted to someone else.  But that is ok, it was worth it for ten minutes of hugs and tears wasn't it?   Time to put away the decorations.  February,  Enough already stop snowing, isn't winter over yet?  Will we ever see the ground?  I can't wait to plant tulips.  Easter is almost here.  What should I cook for supper?  How will we celebrate the day?

Easter as it is -  It is a day of remembrance.  Families gather and share the story of the resurrection of Jesus, and the assurance of our salvation.  Thankful, He did for us what we could not do for ourselves.  The church pews are a little more crowded, and that person you thought moved out of town, well they just decided that church was  a little to hypocritical for them, other than Easter and Christmas that is.    I anxiously await a brief visit from my son who is away at college, that means more to me than the Easter basket filled with chocolate.  I wonder if I should make him a basket for old times sake. 

Easter as it was - People were sad, Jesus was dead, and they didn't quite understand what he meant that he would rise again.  There were those that loved him, trusted him, believed him, and cried heavy tears.  There were those that were happy at his death,  they didn't understand the power in his death and soon to be resurrection.  They thought it was over, but it wasn't over.  It was only a beginning.

Easter as it should be - We should share our blessings with those we love, and recount the love our father gave to us that glorious morning.  We should stretch and grow a little closer to God, a little more thanksgiving for our Savior.  We can show our love of Jesus to those around us by how we treat them.  Is there someone who is going to be alone we can invite to join us?  Is there someone far away we can call to say hello or send a note that shares our reason for joy this season.

My tears are wiped away,

and my sorrow's turned to joy,

 for my Jesus lives, today, forevermore,

 and one day, my time will come,

 to sit in awe of heaven's grace,

 because my Jesus took my place,

 that my father I will see,

 and in arms I'll one day be. 

That day will come for me,

Because He Lives, Because He Lives.

But till that time has come,

We'll share the blessings of His son.

To those both dear and new,

Of the God who loves them too.

Bad Dog, Bad Boy,  Mad Mom, is there a difference?

Yesterday at 5:30 am we were sleeping pretty soundly when all of a sudden I heard a scuffle in the living room where the dog should have been sleeping soundly too.  Things were shaking and I surmized that the sound was that of "Missy", the big black lab 7 year old lab/sheperd, with puppy brain.  Obviously something was on its way down to the floor.   I jumped up hoping to make it in to catch what I knew was my china cabinet that contained my porcelain doll collection.  I was sick in the stomach when the the big crash hit before I made it to the living room.

Missy, was sitting there knowing that she was in big trouble, like a little kid, cowering in the corner waiting for the spanking because he was playing with something expensive of mom's and accidentally broke it.  Only Missy had know idea of the value of the things in the cabinet, but she knew that Mom was mad, and she was sure something was coming, she didn't know what. 

My husband walked over to survey the damage, as I was afraid to look.  I didn't want to be angry over stuff, after all that would be shallow, wouldn't it?  But I was angry, and Missy got a spanking.  I spanked my boy when he needed it, only a hand full of times, he was pretty well behaved.  What is it they say "Spare the Rod spoil the boy"?  I figured Missy, being treated like one of the family, deserved the same lessons in discipline and ressponsibility as the rest of the kids got.

The Bad Dog and the Mad Mom, had their moment of consequence.  Her accepting her "bad dog" spanking, and Me, experiencing the guilt, just as I did on the times I spanked my "bad boy", oh I know, he wasn't bad, and neither was Missy, it was the behavior that was bad.  But I am old enough today, that what I did then wasn't called into political correctness challenges. There is a difference between a spanking and a beating, many stroke difference.

Life as it is:  Missy - The puppy brain dog, is still afraid of her own shadow at 7 years old.   She hides when the wind blows, snow melts and slides off the roof, or if planes are flying over head.  She heads out the door every morning, not matter how I try to tell her to please don't bark, barking to scare away whatever it might be that she is afraid will scare her.

Life as it was:  There was once 3 dogs until this past summer, Sandy the oldest at 17 years, a quiet, loving, elderly dog whose time to leave had come, Bubba, a 10 year old lab we rescued from a kennel she had been left in by owners that never came back, Bubba, didn't trust, and suffered with arthritis, and her time had come too, and we cried  and grieved them both.  They were our kids too.  Our boys all grown and on their own, our animals gave us love and continued to challenge our parenting skills and patience.

Life as it should be:  Missy, our puppy should be less afraid of the unknown and be more secure that she is well taken care of, but then shouldn't we all be a little less afraid of the unknown, and a little more trusting in the father that loves and cares for us and knows best.  Fear affects everyone in some way.  My cat and dog scare each other,  the horses that are brave and fiesty continuing to fight for the top spot in the pecking order, spook at the drop of a garden tool some times, or a moose walking up the street.  We, as humans fear our present, fear our future, fear death, and sometimes adventure in life.  Fear cripples people from accomplishing things that they really want to do.  We hide behind a million excuses.  There will always be fear, so what do we do?.  Feel the feelings, pray for courage, and be determined to do what we want to do one hurdle at a time.

Thankfully, only a few items on the top of the cabinet had gotten broken, and one lonely doll on the bottom shelf lost her finger, and today the beautiful painting of the running horses that she knocked off the wall causing the frame to separate from the frame, was gently repaired and placed back in it's place of honor on the living room wall.  Missy's bedroom has been moved to a place with less chance of receiving damage from her fearful flights, and we will all slept a little easier last night.

Directions - They say that men hate to stop and ask for directions, and continue driving around in circles till by chance they may happen somehow upon their destination, or until their wives harp enough on them to stop so they can go to the bathroom, and then secretly ask the clerk where they are and how to get to where they are going, return to the car and make slight suggestions to their husbands as to which turn they should take.  Well, we women also have our share of not following directions, of course we are not being stubborn, we are being creative, saving time, and are sure we know how we should do it.  Sometimes we win and sometimes we loose.  When we feel to read the directions on how to clean our new sweater, we might find that the short cut of putting it in the washer instead of hand washing some how puts 5 extra pounds on us when we attempt to put the sweater on.  There are always left over screws and maybe a few pieces of wood left from the easy assembly new cabinet for the bathroom we just were so proud we put together, and we wonder how come the shelf doesn't stay put.  But when we are in the kitchen, being our most creative, we rush through getting the ingredients and figure we know how to toss them together, we make some hits, and hear "wow, that was awesome" and we get some "thanks for dinner honey", but we can tell the struggle on their face is because they love us and don't want to hurt our feelings so we just know not to make that dish again, or next time follow the directions.  Last night I attempted to make chocolate chip cookies, which I usually buy the break and bake.  But last week when I made the real deal for the church fund raiser my husband loved it.  So I decided to make him some.  I scanned the ingredients and pulled everything out and placed them on the counter, and having made them just a week ago I figured, I can just wing this as long as everything gets mixed in.  The butter was too hard to cream so I zapped it in the microwave just too soften it, but I hit the one minute button instead of 10 seconds.  So instead of softened it was melted, what the heck,  toss it in and mix it up.  The mix was not cookie dough for sure, but I remembered my mom's chocolate chip brownies and thought, I wonder if I can save this soup.  So I poured the mix sprinkled the chocolate chips and threw in a few nuts and baked it in the brownie dish.  I kept checking and wondering if I was going to pull it off.  My husband could smell something cooking in the kitchen and asked what I was making.  Of course I'm not going to tell him a mistake.  So I said well I was making chocolate chip cookies but I turned them into brownies instead.   He didn't seem to impressed with my reply, but I could tell  he was willing to wait and see.  My creativity and mistake paid off they were a hit.  "really good"  I never easily duplicate my successes because I often forget how many things I had to do to get there that weren't in the directions.  Maybe this one I will be able to because I simply melted the butter instead of softening it.

Life as it is:  I am still one that hates to read directions that stifle my creativity and take up too much time, but I am learning that there are times when following the directions are critical and times when it is ok to wing it.

Life as it was:  Making the brownies reminded me of spending time with my mom in the kitchen as a kid watching as she mixed these brownies and we were anxious to fight over who got the spoon, and ready to pour the necessary glass of milk to go with them when they were nice and warm out of the oven.

Life as it should be:  Traditions to be passed on to our children.  Creative Thinking and Disciplined Responsibility.  Following directions and taking a chance to believe that we can one day get to where we want to go.  For some things like Heaven there is only one way, but for others like brownies and finding grandma's house there are often explorations and adventures awaiting our willing spirit.  Be free to Be.

Adventure - Life is an adventure that provides opportunity daily to stretch, to grow, to be complacent, to be active or passive, to just be.  I went for a ride today on a snowmobile for the first time with my husband, who is way more physically adventurous then I am.  We went through the woods about 10 miles I would say till we reached what are considered groomed trails, over the pond, and into town to have lunch.  I started out the ride ridged and fearful of the unknown adventure ahead.  My fear, that he would dump the machine with me on it, came the first time about 5 miles into the ride, I was a little shell shocked, but we survived, got up dusted the snow off and continued on.  Some of the turns were hairy, and going over the river's man made bridge (by my husband), caught me a little tense. We were half way over the pond before I realized we were over the frozen water, more tension, more fear, I'm cringing inside trying not to show it.  Finally, the rail road tracks and we are almost to town...not to soon for me.  We had a quick lunch at a local spot, taking my time, thinking about the return trip home.  Short of calling my girlfriend to come pick me up and looking like a coward I had to suck it up and get back on.  The ride back,  I was a little braver, my husband stopped on the middle of the pond asking if I wanted to drive, (NO), I just want to get off the pond.    I couldn't be making this "together" adventure much fun for him with my flinching and clenching of my teeth.  We stopped took photos of what he knew might be the one and only ride I might take with him.  I only promised one ride.  We continued home and once again were on the 10  mile stretch through the narrow woods.  He either thought I was a little braver, or he just needed to let out a little more speed, but we came twisting and turning, (over the river and through the woods, back to grandmother's house we go) took on a whole new meaning as grandma and grandpa were within a mile of home.  Then, I began to crunch as I saw the spot we were fast approaching ahead, he slowed to maneuver this tricky part, but over we went, twisting and turning like the inside of a washing machine.  It took me a few minutes to get my composure, and I got back on.  I am feeling muscles I didn't remember I had, but I am also feeling the thrill of the adventure I hadn't felt in a while either.  I wonder what happens between our youth and where we are today.

Life as it is - Our children are grown, one married,  with two beautiful daughters, one the survivor of divorce with one daughter the youngest in college writing his future and chasing his dreams.

Life as it was - Once we were young, with no fear of the adventures we embarked on, seeking the thrill.

Life as it should be - having raised our children, we now rekindle the spark, remember the thrills, let go of the idea that we can't be crazy because who would take care of our kids if something happened to us.  Trusting In and Seeking to seize the opportunities given us on a daily basis to grow, to stretch, to be complacent, to overcome fear with faith, to be passive or interactive, to just be.  To live!